Wednesday, January 27, 2010

" how to cope with adult children"

So while reading the news this morning (usually I try and hit the major news networks (CNN and FOX) and then a couple other smaller local news things. Its interesting to see what stations report on what stories. Anyway today well reading I came across a story on Nancy Kerrigans brother.

For those of you that don't know the story Nancy Kerrigans brother is accused of getting in a fist fight (fists, pushing) with his father. Later that day his father died. I am not sure whether they are charging the brother with murder or what is the status of that. Thats not what this post is about. This post is about the idea of an "adult child"

I would like to disclaim this by saying I am in no means a mental health professional. I also know that mental issues exist and that those definitely have an effect on people. Having read through this story I can find no evidence that Daniel Kerrigan (the brother) had any proven mental issues beyond PTSD. Please find the story here

The idea that this fellow is an "adult child" is ridiculous. Is that a nice way of saying that he turned into an asshole? The guy drinks excessively, beat his ex wife and his mother, has been in and out a jail along with other things. If anything that is the definition of being an asshole. I am sick of everything being a disorder. This guy wasn't sick he was just not a nice guy.

The fact that the family just did all of his chores and fed his pets and took care of him after so many times in jail, to me, is sickening. I know that I have a very harsh, black and white view on right and wrong. I readily acknowledge that. But by doing everything for this guy its not helping anything. I mean this is Pavlovs dog here guy. If you keep doing the same thing when he has bad behavior (ie beating his mother) then he is going to keep doing it.

I just hate when the media and people blame a disease. This isn't a disease its a bad guy. Every time you make another stupid disease it just takes away from people who are actually sick.

Ps. I also realize that this headline could be taken as dealing with a child of yours who becomes an adult. If that is the case in this instance, then fine. My thoughts remain the same for plenty of other cases though

1 comment:

  1. I think the best part of the story is the commentary from Julie Totten, the president of Families for Dpression Awareness. Specifically, when she said:

    "...many families run up against a system ill-equipped to handle severe mental illnesses. "There's no medical system to back them up...all the rights are with the patients. But we have the change our attitude. When someone is ill, we need to understand they might not be able to take care of themselves." "

    If he's depressed or has issues and can't take care of himself, someone has to do it for him and that falls to his family. It's just too bad that they don't have any options for support or relief except putting him in jail when he gets out of control and hurts someone.

    But it seems like the family wasn't interested in getting him checked out and taken care of somewhere and instead tried to take all the responsibility on themselvs. And now the father is dead over a fight about a phone. It's just sad.