I am pretty sure the ninja/zombie/robots have started their attack

So I am pretty sure that the ninja/zombie/robots (or any combination of the three) have started running espionage missions against me. So far this year these are the things I have lost
Brand new prescription sunglasses--killed in action
Belt--Missing in action (recovered)
Camera Cord--MIA
Hat--Killed in action ( New one acquired)
Bag of rocks--MIA (presumed captured by ninja/zombie/robots (update 20 Sept. a new bag of rocks has been acquired)
butter knives--many MIA (ok this wasn't me but was at the house)
Shoes--MIA (recovered from CV)

This is just insane. I never loose this much stuff, its just crazy.

Also I am pretty sure those crazy agents snuck into the Ipswich Town Hall and messed with our marriage liscense. I have to call since my dad's name is listed as Peter Horward instead of Peter Howard...how does a ninja/zombie/robot sneak around so easily??